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Feel like letting it all out. 
I don't care if anyone reads it or not just want to get it off my chest.

It all started 2 years where everything was fine and there's nothing between us.
then when i started hanging out with you, a feeling was developed.
it's something that makes me smile when i see you.
it makes me feels happy with you around.

but i made a mistake that i've regreted until now
i confessed way too fucking early.
and your decision was always known.
a simple NO.
i don't blame you, i understand.
friends was not suffice for a humiliated love sick puppy like me.
but i went with it and pretended i'm okay.  

as time pass so does my feeling for you.
and being friends started to make sense.
we became closer than ever.

then your feeling for me changed.
i asked you.
you answered.
really? it took you 2 fucking years?
while all that time i'd been trying to erase my feelings for you.

i was confused. 
but one thing is certain.
i treasure our friendship.
so i lied and said what you wanted to hear.

pretending and lies are part of it.
forcing myself to develop the same feeling again.
day by day.
all the lies and pretending started to take it toll on me.
i can't carry on like this.
i'd made up my mind.
i rather see you sad in reality
than happy in a world that doesn't even exist.

i leave you with the worst possible excuse.
knowing being nice not gonna help you.
i'd became somebody else.
i lied.
in hoping that you will forget me faster than me of you.

and that's the end of our story.
it ended like it begins, as strangers.
i had lost something that was a big part of my life.
just because of my inability to see the possible outcomes of my action.

i really want to apologize to you.
but i'm too emberassed with my actions.
believes me i really am sorry for everything.
i wish you all the best in life.
Goodbye :)

Thank You For Your Time

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think this entry was meant for me
even though it's not for me
i'll comment here
but still aku agak yakin post ni untuk aku

so here it goes
it took me another two years to read this
untuk tahu apa kau rasa and apa dalam hati kau
aku baru tahu yang kau follow blog aku
aku baru tahu yang kau masih blog
and aku baru tahu yang aku explain lebih jujur dekat entry ni

kenapa tipu ?
kau hargai friendship kita
tapi sebab tipu kau hilang aku , kawan kau
ya aku tahu kita kawan tu lebih make sense
and apa kita dah lalui untuk hilang each other
i regret it until now
aku pun mintak maaf sebab selepas dari dua tahun kau confess
perasaan tu baru berubah

well it was a mistake to be in that situation and feeling
kalau bukan sebab benda tu
kita masih kawan sampai sekarang
aku tahu kau pun rasa benda sama
im sorry untuk segala benda pahit yang jadi
and im sorry
sebab selepas dua tahun baru aku perasan kau ada perhatikan ayat aku dekat blog
and selepas dua tahun baru aku perasan apa kau tulis

so itu je mungkin dari aku
kita masih boleh jadi kawan kalau kau nak
kau tahu mana nak cari aku

mungkin apa aku tulis ni akan makan masa bertahun untuk kau perasan
atau tak perasan langsung
anyway , aku pun perhati kau dari jauh
jaga diri :)

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