FEEL

Feel like letting it all out. 

I don't care if anyone reads it or not just want to get it off my chest.

It all started 2 years where everything was fine and there's nothing between us.

then when i started hanging out with you, a feeling was developed.

it's something that makes me smile when i see you.

it makes me feels happy with you around.

but i made a mistake that i've regreted until now

i confessed way too fucking early.

and your decision was always known.

a simple NO.

i don't blame you, i understand.

friends was not suffice for a humiliated love sick puppy like me.

but i went with it and pretended i'm okay.  

as time pass so does my feeling for you.

and being friends started to make sense.

we became closer than ever.

then your feeling for me changed.

i asked you.

"I LIKE YOU"

you answered.

really? it took you 2 fucking years?

while all that time i'd been trying to erase my feelings for you.

i was confused. 

but one thing is certain.

i treasure our friendship.

so i lied and said what you wanted to hear.

YES

pretending and lies are part of it.

everyday.

forcing myself to develop the same feeling again.

failed.

day by day.

all the lies and pretending started to take it toll on me.

i can't carry on like this.

i'd made up my mind.

i rather see you sad in reality

than happy in a world that doesn't even exist.

i leave you with the worst possible excuse.

knowing being nice not gonna help you.

i'd became somebody else.

i lied.

in hoping that you will forget me faster than me of you.

and that's the end of our story.

it ended like it begins, as strangers.

i had lost something that was a big part of my life.

just because of my inability to see the possible outcomes of my action.

i really want to apologize to you.

but i'm too emberassed with my actions.

believes me i really am sorry for everything.

i wish you all the best in life.

Goodbye :)

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Thank You For Your Time

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