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                                                                                                                                                In My Mind.

                                                                                                                                  29th January 2014

Hey you,

           Well i know you wont read this, but to keep me sane i did it anyway. So lately you have been asking me why am i like this or why did i do it. Hm pretty though question to answer but i'll try.

           Basically when i did those things, i was not thinking. I was listening to my heart, it may sounds strange but it's the truth. I did all that because my heart told me to. It is like i'm responsible for your happiness. Now now, don't be mad, of course you never ask me to, of course your happiness is his responsibilty. I'm just saying i hate to see you sad, that's all.

          But the main reason why i did it was to compete. Yep, i said it, to compete with him. As you know, looks, wealth or kindness ain't me. Those things never ticked my box, so i was never an option for you. Therefore, just to compete in a race that i know i will never win, i try to always be there for you. Not to win your heart but just to be in your memories.

         So that's all from me, i hope that explained everything. I wish you all the happiness in the world. May he cherish you for all eternity.


Thank You For Your Time


this is not a choice.
god never gave me other alternatives.
i don't get to choose.

from the first time i set my eyes on you.
it's like i know what to do.
like i'm supposed to.

it is by default.
like the law of nature.
i've never chose this.
as it was never a choice.

Thank You For Your Time


i don't need protection.
or safety of an illusion.

all i want is a simple truth.
truth about me.
and truth about him.

cause at this moment.
i am living in a big fat lie. 

Thank You For Your Time


here is a list of things that i need

your smile.
your laugh.
your attention.
your presence.


Thank You For Your Time


dreams were supposed to stay in my sleep.
but now.
it's like i'm living in one.

seeing you.
being around you.
the feeling.

but one day.
you're gonna leave.
and this will be nothing but memories.

so until that day comes.
don't wake me up.

Thank You For Your Time

Copyright © ' Ummar Zaqwan Bin Salleh